Hilarious Amazon Reviews
There are millions of products to choose from on Amazon, but among the many useful items are some truly bizarre and unnecessary products that are either overpriced or completely useless. As you may know, at Tactac, we take all reviews with a grain of salt, so here are some of the funniest products and reviews our team has found.
1. A Swiss army knife that saves the world
Forget that boring old Swiss Army Knife that you might have at your disposal right now. This one is going to change your life. If you’re not using the Giant Wenger Swiss Army Knife, you’re surely missing out. It can do it all, from opening a bottle of wine, to building a house and stealing your wife ... and that’s just according to the Amazon reviews.
2. A tray table that puts texting and driving into a gray area
We all know it’s illegal and dangerous to text and drive, which makes the AutoExec Wheelmate Steering Wheel Attachable Work Surface Tray that much more appealing. Imagine a commute where you can check your emails from the convenience of your laptop-adorned steering wheel.
3. The ultimate cookbook for being alone
Let’s be honest here, who really wants to cook for themselves? Most cookbooks have recipes for more than one person, and, if you live alone, that seems like a lot of effort. In fact, using any type of cookware besides a microwave is a pain. Enter the Microwave Cooking for One cookbook.
4. Never Have a Boring Banana
We are always looking for ways to make our processes easier. Until there are robots specifically designed to cut fruit for us, we will have to make do. Cutting a banana piece by piece? That’s for the plebs! The Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer will cut an entire banana with minimal effort on your part.
5. A horse is a horse, unless it’s a person wearing a mask
We have all seen these on Halloween or at random times of the year. The Accoutrements Horse Head Mask is pretty terrifying, but the reviews are even better—it might even allow you to become one with the herd!
6. Address your Naviphobia using a book
Naviphobia is the fear of vessels or ships. If this is a fear of yours, you might have to pay a lot of money to help with your fear through exposure therapy tactics. How to Avoid Huge Ships by John Trimmer will help you resist exposure therapy to all vessels by giving you a playbook for avoiding huge ships while you are on the open waters. Consider it a cheaper alternative.
7. The candy kryptonite you should use with caution
Haribo is no doubt delicious, which is what makes the sugar free version so dangerous. The sugar free Haribo Gummi Bears are guaranteed to send your enemies to the bathroom for hours, which makes them the perfect revenge candy. Make sure you have multiple enemies, because a pound of gummi bears is too much for anyone to handle.
8. A pen with a feminine edge
Pens are typically gender-neutral, which is what makes them so boring and non-progressive. What if there was a pen specifically designed for women? Enter the BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, a pen that truly allows anyone to get in touch with their feminine side.
9. Do you know where your milk comes from?
If you’re using regular milk on your morning bowl of cereal, you’re missing out on a unique opportunity to add a rich boost of protein to your diet from an extremely overpriced jug of milk. Tuscan Dairy Whole Milk has left Amazon customers with more questions than answers.
10. A shirt that makes you instantly cool
Have you ever looked at your wardrobe and wondered what the perfect outfit would be to convey an extreme amount of confidence? If your answer is yes, be sure to pick up one of these Three Wolf Moon shirts, and thank us later.
As ridiculous and silly as these products and their reviews are, it can be tough to tell what’s serious or not on Amazon and other retail sites. If you’re scratching your head while trying to buy your next item, let us help you make it easier. Tactac is the social shopping app that allows you to include your friends while you shop so you can check out with confidence. Download our app and start shopping with your friends today!